My Own Point Of View

There are things that aren't meant to be together, things that aren't fated for you to have. The life that we holding on might not work at all times. These are my dreams I keep, dreams I tried to remake. We don't even know the direction of our own path unless we are guided by someone or something like a map or a compass. People say it's destiny in every way you look at it. What I thought it is stupid! We can't control time, not exactly. I remember an anime movie it catches me a short phrase "Time waits for no one," I wonder. Its like a punch on the face (Bull's Eyes!). I never delibaretly give it an attention when it comes to time, valuing it, to the word time is gold, or time flies so fast till a friend shared me that movie. First, let me acknowledge the Director of that movie truly it was a good one, the plot of the story is amazing. I admire the creativity of it, the people behind it. Especially the sincerity of the frienship that flows in the movie.

The starting point of our life from the past, that continues till it forms present, and now every person's future lies in the changes of things we do both in the past and present to form the line of the future. But undoubtedly we don't possess the ability to predict the future; reality we can't because we base it on the present situation. You can't just put period on it and predicting is different from planning and even setting goals. I know it's in the hand of the one Who truly knows. Imagine a man standing in an intersection and in that person's head is a big question mark. The picture you form is a man who's lost, trying to think which path to choose. He doesn't know where to go that's the simple interpretation of it. So the image I want to say is that we start predicting when we fall in difficult situation, we PANIC. Then we say follies and stuff "now what?, "where will I go?" or "which way?" "blah, blah, blah, etc, etc." In my life I've been like that, always predicting then complaining and still I ask for directions. In that part, do I have to do that or just follow my instincts? If that so I can lead myself to a dead end and its doom to failure. I'm starting to a wrong point, my own selfish acts. So if that person enters into one of those path every one knows or no one knows what will be the end? Many times I've been there in the intersection of life, I can choose any path its the matter now of endurance and courage to step and continue till I reach the end; we need more than courage and endurance LIFE what more to take and to sacrifice? For me, I believe that I'll end up to the arms I'm always looking up for, because I know He is waiting in the end of every road two things: faith and trust. It will conquers the heart and mind that even in the darkest place He will never left you wondering through it.

I've been thinking about the things I did before, dreams I saw, things I regret and lost. It's my choice, my decision, and my great fall. With the people I've been with, share part of my life. As a result of my doings either I lost them or the changes can make them stay. In reality I'm wrong, no one can stay for a long time, they might vanished without a trace only memories I have with them stays. I try to understand and this mind can't hold of it, so many questions and I struggle that I am bound into it. I want to be set free in this horrible pace of life that disappoints me. According to some people I've talked to about this is that I want to have something that will trigger my life into an open and wider place. For me I want to start in the beginning; I want to find myself in this rejected part of me. I need a miracle. I heard some song that asking, "For now is it worth it to be sad? if its harder to be glad to be alive?" I wonder even more if this life I have now is something I can hold on more and longer. I felt I'm dying inside every time I stay alive. I made some troubles and I break a lot in this life. Wondering if I can fix it in my own bear hands. My senses are complete, but I felt the anxiety in every inch, I get lonely as I could feel the living.

I felt something, I wake up in the morning I gaze at the four corners of my room, plushies everywhere staring back at me giving those sweet looks. Tried to move on the other side reaching the curtains to see the blue sky if it is still there; being blinded by the smile of the sunlight. I am awake again in the reality, knowing I'm just dreaming again.