She got the chance to fell in that deep slumber again. She waited long anough to be in such peace. Before, she almost drowned in things she's afraid when sleeping and sometimes its too late for her to survive or even wake up. Time that waits for no one; she sit there in that cold, dark room praying for her dreams, dreams she believed in. Somehow, fate insist to reveal her nightmares that gauge her out of reality. Hope, where is it? I wonder she fight in that place where fears and sorrows, pain and rejection, sadness and agony lingers in every corner. Slithering to get inside her. Eyes are blind, ears are deft, mouth can't speak. For me she's just a distort identity, a nothing, a no one.
Brawling to get out of that other side. However, terrified to fight how will peace going to conquer if she's afraid, afraid to stand. How will this end if fear conquers her. Poor thing and its petty to think. Such serene of mind, I do this in a conflict way. Observing, I thought if I do this, the side of me that I called her will be different somehow. I gaze at her in the mirror trying to find something to encourage her to do an entourage of this story, she's in there and I'm here. Different story same person. I realized that she is my nightmare; her face so peacefully staring at me. The pain hidden from her is just beneath those pillows, swarming, reaching for her. Looking upon the face that I recognize, she is full of scars. Face flooded with tears and every inch of her arms are bitten, with scratches and wounds. I felt bad about her, I know her, she is someone I am aware of long before. And suddenly I realize the person I'm seeing is my very own nightmare, she is my nightmare. I thought she's gone, I thought everything about her is gone, I didn't realize that she's with me again on my slumber. Gazing at the world different from the one I know, everything is in distress somehow I want to understand; I can see the struggles of her soul that lives inside her destructive body. Such petty and arrogance. The person I want to forget is here with me again.
To continue along, she must set aside the fear and be tough. Only faith she hold is her hope and strength. A weapon to face the war beyong the reality. When time comes she wokes up from that deep slumber greater battles is ahead, approaching her. For real war is at hand, holding both worlds. "Don't weep now, my child..."
What her nightmares? What are the realities she dreamed of? When everything ends, is it wonderful to watch the blue sky destroyed? Or watch the stars crash with her? If that happens, the things I'm afraid of become a reality do I still have a choice? That's probably death for me and before that I'll sing a lullaby, smell the breeze of the cool air and if there's still morning I still want to hear bird chirping like a normal days. Then turn around seeing those people who put smile on my face and spend it the time like I'll never have it again. There's another life beyond death I think. The person I know dreamed these things and in her deep sleep, I used to watch or look upon her, the things cover her both good and evil. I can't blame her if she's been through a lot. My fault to forget what I've been before. Gazing again back to her I am still questioned by her. Do I have to forget her? or say I will never again forget her. I just hope she will find a way out with the faith she believes that will save her.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
I Have Something to Say
An emptiness I felt in my heart filled with unseen scenery. Reflecting of what will be my future is at stake. Some journeys are over, some adventures are close to an end, but not now I said. This is just the beginning, but why everyone’s leaving? The show is not over yet, for the main event waits. I’ve been held in this lifeless gulf with my sense of being a prisoner for so long. In beliefs, while my eyes shut I can hear oceans sing like a raging thunder, trying to break the silence of my unmerciful mind. I wonder if that thing I thought of is trying to break free trying to reach me. I wonder…
There’s this place I love to hangout with. I create my song, sleep, even read books. The guitar is with me, the pen and the paper is with me. I love music so much it sends tranquility through my soul and every time I hum a song along such wonderful melody I assumed, I can hear it, the song of everything. I can feel it, as the wind wafts it touches my skin that the music of its own slowly lullabies me. I can hear such wonderful harmony in my ears singing, I am a creation, a part of the amazing world, a part of great, unseen things. I write what I imagined even if it’s hard to put the right words I tried to write it down, I’m in awe.
I stood there asking is there more world beautiful than this place I’m gazing on? If yes I want to go there, I want to see that place and I want to feel it too. A world where I can be who I want to be, no more hiding, no more tears, and no more counterfeit people. I just wish and for that wish there's longing and from longing a hope is born. I wont hesitate to find what I'm looking for peace and what I longing for love. At this long road someone is holding me firmly but gentle. When He talks His soft voice makes me on my knees I knew I am loved by this someone.
There am I stanging, I stand in the middle of the crowd, looking forward to something, ideas to deal with; I’m in this crowded place searching beyond these thousands path. Can I use my instincts and guts? Then fall into a trap? I know the way will reveal it self, if that’s what I believed in; if I don’t make it works on me; one way to walk on, one way to discover. It’s a drag for me that I’ve been damage before, but I say it’s over with that gentle kiss it lessens the pain that’s stabs my soul deeply, throbbing, choking. I can still here it the beautiful song ever, the peacefulness that brought my soul and heart at ease.
My story has just begun, still wondering on my part, exploring what’s inside and out. I’ll just whisper it, it will be fun to listen. Maybe I compete in this life’s tragedy and commotion but a love who’s constantly embracing me leaving me no worry but to ease and rest.
There’s this place I love to hangout with. I create my song, sleep, even read books. The guitar is with me, the pen and the paper is with me. I love music so much it sends tranquility through my soul and every time I hum a song along such wonderful melody I assumed, I can hear it, the song of everything. I can feel it, as the wind wafts it touches my skin that the music of its own slowly lullabies me. I can hear such wonderful harmony in my ears singing, I am a creation, a part of the amazing world, a part of great, unseen things. I write what I imagined even if it’s hard to put the right words I tried to write it down, I’m in awe.
I stood there asking is there more world beautiful than this place I’m gazing on? If yes I want to go there, I want to see that place and I want to feel it too. A world where I can be who I want to be, no more hiding, no more tears, and no more counterfeit people. I just wish and for that wish there's longing and from longing a hope is born. I wont hesitate to find what I'm looking for peace and what I longing for love. At this long road someone is holding me firmly but gentle. When He talks His soft voice makes me on my knees I knew I am loved by this someone.
There am I stanging, I stand in the middle of the crowd, looking forward to something, ideas to deal with; I’m in this crowded place searching beyond these thousands path. Can I use my instincts and guts? Then fall into a trap? I know the way will reveal it self, if that’s what I believed in; if I don’t make it works on me; one way to walk on, one way to discover. It’s a drag for me that I’ve been damage before, but I say it’s over with that gentle kiss it lessens the pain that’s stabs my soul deeply, throbbing, choking. I can still here it the beautiful song ever, the peacefulness that brought my soul and heart at ease.
My story has just begun, still wondering on my part, exploring what’s inside and out. I’ll just whisper it, it will be fun to listen. Maybe I compete in this life’s tragedy and commotion but a love who’s constantly embracing me leaving me no worry but to ease and rest.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Sleeping Dead Romantic
She closes her eyes with tears of despair. Agonize she felt astray. Wrecked, she was alone in the dark nothing but cold breeze rage, she shivers hugging herself for warm. Her knee close to her chest feeling the air that breathes in and out. No trust has left, fate vanish without a trace. Her beloved bid farewell she said.
He chose his path with regrets cover him, he walks with the thoughts of her endless, and numb he felt with no tears in his eyes. His heart wrecked with the last beat of it he knows his hours will come to an end eternal peace is at hand. Leaving her behind such tragic he can hear death knocking on the door and forgiveness is not enough. He’ll die without saying goodbye. Sweet words fade embracing his self on bended knees now with tears so warm it falls in his cheek. The pain he felt is nothing that feeling the pain much more when he left her in cold to death. It is time for him to rest he raise his hand in horizon at sight seeing her beloved smile, she reach as she trembles. Silent words spoken “I love you” they know that’s the closing of their stories. He fell with the bleeding heart; she fell alone in the dark with a frozen heart. Now they sleep with such romantic story yet tragic it ends.
He chose his path with regrets cover him, he walks with the thoughts of her endless, and numb he felt with no tears in his eyes. His heart wrecked with the last beat of it he knows his hours will come to an end eternal peace is at hand. Leaving her behind such tragic he can hear death knocking on the door and forgiveness is not enough. He’ll die without saying goodbye. Sweet words fade embracing his self on bended knees now with tears so warm it falls in his cheek. The pain he felt is nothing that feeling the pain much more when he left her in cold to death. It is time for him to rest he raise his hand in horizon at sight seeing her beloved smile, she reach as she trembles. Silent words spoken “I love you” they know that’s the closing of their stories. He fell with the bleeding heart; she fell alone in the dark with a frozen heart. Now they sleep with such romantic story yet tragic it ends.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Her Own Funeral
An early morning funeral in the midst of the garden; there she was holding her memories in trembling hands. The coldness of the sunset shivers her as she painted the night with tears of hopelessness. Holding herself with her knees close to her chest, face turn down in the ground. “How can this be a dream? A nightmare in my sleep.” A selfish thought come running through her mind, she listen but only silence answered back. As she remembers her own throbbing suddenly it started to rain. Drip, drip, drip she listen to the flow crushing down to the earth. She lifted hear head and look at the sky. It gave chills in every drop of it in her pale face. “Stop!” she whispered. She tries to stand and find a shelter. Running, running and there she found a small stage with a roof on it. Tired and almost out of breath she rest herself, just watching. Drip, drip, drip.
The rain stop as the darkness of the night creeps, covering the entire world; the moon rises with glow staring it makes her feel awe. Watch everything sparkles by the moon’s luminosity; she watches them glimmering. How beautiful to gaze at? As they seem grinning back at her. She dance even though drenched and cold she dance. With the smile on her face, hands held up high she suddenly bring to a halt. She notices something on the floor just right beside the stage, out of curiosity she started to walk there it was scattered roses on the ground; without realizing thorns at her feet. The pain of bleeding, she doesn’t mind, grabbing one “Lovely.”
Stuck by cruelty of the world asking inside when she will be free? Just dream, dream she will no longer return in their cruelty. A single hope can make a difference but the wounds that have been carved at her body, for years of entrapment makes the memories anxious at her; in thoughts letting her cry even more. Shamed and guilt cover her.
The death of her own soul leads to somewhere, her heart still grasping for anticipation and the ones she believe she will return with new life. Soaking wet, blood at her feet, tormented soul; she felt the sting but the pain inside is more agonizing. She is all alone and abused by the world. Sacrifices of love mend her hearts and the world laughs at her face. She closes her eyes and raises her hands above reaching the delight of what she feels above. She knows someone’s watching behind those clouds reaching out for her too. As she fainted through that cold midnight; She, with last breath those unfailing words “help me…”
Now trampled on the ground with eyes shut, she lies there dreaming. Tainted by the memories she wants to lose. In her most thrash adventure the world might forget, but the ones who left a mark will be remembered in a sense she only knows. Those last words of farewell only she can say. Now she leaves only for that dream with that someone with light caring her back home.
The rain stop as the darkness of the night creeps, covering the entire world; the moon rises with glow staring it makes her feel awe. Watch everything sparkles by the moon’s luminosity; she watches them glimmering. How beautiful to gaze at? As they seem grinning back at her. She dance even though drenched and cold she dance. With the smile on her face, hands held up high she suddenly bring to a halt. She notices something on the floor just right beside the stage, out of curiosity she started to walk there it was scattered roses on the ground; without realizing thorns at her feet. The pain of bleeding, she doesn’t mind, grabbing one “Lovely.”
Stuck by cruelty of the world asking inside when she will be free? Just dream, dream she will no longer return in their cruelty. A single hope can make a difference but the wounds that have been carved at her body, for years of entrapment makes the memories anxious at her; in thoughts letting her cry even more. Shamed and guilt cover her.
The death of her own soul leads to somewhere, her heart still grasping for anticipation and the ones she believe she will return with new life. Soaking wet, blood at her feet, tormented soul; she felt the sting but the pain inside is more agonizing. She is all alone and abused by the world. Sacrifices of love mend her hearts and the world laughs at her face. She closes her eyes and raises her hands above reaching the delight of what she feels above. She knows someone’s watching behind those clouds reaching out for her too. As she fainted through that cold midnight; She, with last breath those unfailing words “help me…”
Now trampled on the ground with eyes shut, she lies there dreaming. Tainted by the memories she wants to lose. In her most thrash adventure the world might forget, but the ones who left a mark will be remembered in a sense she only knows. Those last words of farewell only she can say. Now she leaves only for that dream with that someone with light caring her back home.
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