Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Nightmare's Awakening

She got the chance to fell in that deep slumber again. She waited long anough to be in such peace. Before, she almost drowned in things she's afraid when sleeping and sometimes its too late for her to survive or even wake up. Time that waits for no one; she sit there in that cold, dark room praying for her dreams, dreams she believed in. Somehow, fate insist to reveal her nightmares that gauge her out of reality. Hope, where is it? I wonder she fight in that place where fears and sorrows, pain and rejection, sadness and agony lingers in every corner. Slithering to get inside her. Eyes are blind, ears are deft, mouth can't speak. For me she's just a distort identity, a nothing, a no one.



Brawling to get out of that other side. However, terrified to fight how will peace going to conquer if she's afraid, afraid to stand. How will this end if fear conquers her. Poor thing and its petty to think. Such serene of mind, I do this in a conflict way. Observing, I thought if I do this, the side of me that I called her will be different somehow. I gaze at her in the mirror trying to find something to encourage her to do an entourage of this story, she's in there and I'm here. Different story same person. I realized that she is my nightmare; her face so peacefully staring at me. The pain hidden from her is just beneath those pillows, swarming, reaching for her. Looking upon the face that I recognize, she is full of scars. Face flooded with tears and every inch of her arms are bitten, with scratches and wounds. I felt bad about her, I know her, she is someone I am aware of long before. And suddenly I realize the person I'm seeing is my very own nightmare, she is my nightmare. I thought she's gone, I thought everything about her is gone, I didn't realize that she's with me again on my slumber. Gazing at the world different from the one I know, everything is in distress somehow I want to understand; I can see the struggles of her soul that lives inside her destructive body. Such petty and arrogance. The person I want to forget is here with me again.

To continue along, she must set aside the fear and be tough. Only faith she hold is her hope and strength. A weapon to face the war beyong the reality. When time comes she wokes up from that deep slumber greater battles is ahead, approaching her. For real war is at hand, holding both worlds. "Don't weep now, my child..."

What her nightmares? What are the realities she dreamed of? When everything ends, is it wonderful to watch the blue sky destroyed? Or watch the stars crash with her? If that happens, the things I'm afraid of become a reality do I still have a choice? That's probably death for me and before that I'll sing a lullaby, smell the breeze of the cool air and if there's still morning I still want to hear bird chirping like a normal days. Then turn around seeing those people who put smile on my face and spend it the time like I'll never have it again. There's another life beyond death I think. The person I know dreamed these things and in her deep sleep, I used to watch or look upon her, the things cover her both good and evil. I can't blame her if she's been through a lot. My fault to forget what I've been before. Gazing again back to her I am still questioned by her. Do I have to forget her? or say I will never again forget her. I just hope she will find a way out with the faith she believes that will save her.

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